I had almost forgotten that I had even made my own blog until I realized that I had a funny story that I should share with every other human that has worked or currently works as a barista or bartender. I thought my days of having funny stories would be over since I was now working at a college with older, more mature people. For the record…..I was very wrong. In the last 5 days alone, I have encountered two subjects that were indeed college age students and managed to leave me totally and utterly face palming and wondering how I ended up there. The more terrifying thought for me however, was the fact that I was wondering what their parents might have said or done had they been in my shoes. We are going to name these students James and Judy for the mere fact that I have no idea what their real names are. Shortly before closing time, James approaches the counter. He asked me for a glass of ice. I reply with “Of course, sure I got ya.” As I grab the cup with one hand and the ice scoop with the other, I see him wave me down from the cash register. What happened next, is I swear on every coffee bean in the place, what truly took place. James asks…”Can you put that in a cup?” (This is where the face palm came into play) Again, without hesitation, I say “Sure, no problem.” In my mind, I was asking myself, where the hell else did he think I was going to put it? Did he want it in his backpack? Was I supposed to throw it on the floor and wait for him to fetch it? I handed him the cup full of ice and watched him walk away. Now, before a Karen reads this and says something, let me answer the basic questions. 1. I have waited on him before, so he is familiar with the cups that we have. 2. He did not have a personal cup with him that he wanted the ice dispensed into. 3. As far as I could tell, he was not under the influence, however, that is not to me to assume and or ask. Now, here comes Judy. Judy is a new customer. I have never waited on her, or seen her roaming the halls. She comes to the register, I greet her and ask her “What can I make for you?” She replies quickly with
“I want a cold espresso, but I don’t want it to taste like coffee.” (Insert another face palm here) I explain to her that espresso is concentrated coffee and that she might want to reconsider if she doesn’t like the taste. I offer her cold brew to which she proceeds to tell me, “tastes nasty,” and she doesn’t want that. I offer her a flavored lemonade to which she then replies “I want the caffeine.” Ok, well the only other thing I have to offer is an energy drink. I go through the entire list of every energy drink that I can make with every flavor available. Judy then shrivels her nose, looks me dead in the face and says, “Well I will just take a hot coffee, just put lots of flavor and milk because I want it super sweet and I don’t want to taste the coffee.” I wish that I was making this up, but I am not. I should have led her in the direction of the cafeteria. Perhaps they could have helped her find the chocolate milk she really wanted. On a serious note….any of you that happen to be in your 40’s and 50’s. When you read this, just keep in mind that this is the generation that is going to be taking care of us when we are no longer able to wipe our own rear ends. Now, that is really a scary thought!!